


The Pain Only A Friend Could Help

by Hiding_scars



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Comfort, Cramps, Cuddles, Eww, Periods
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-01 08:04:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4012072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiding_scars/pseuds/Hiding_scars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I read a couple of these and they were really cute. So I decided to make one. Sorry if it sucks...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Michaela, Luke, and Calum are 18. Mikey and Ash are 19.

*Michaela's POV* 

You were on the phone with the boys talking about how much you missed them. There was a knock on the door. 

"Hang on guys. There was a knock at the door." You told them before walking over to answer it. The boys had hung up as you said that. You shrugged it off and opened the door.

"Sorry the connection went bad." Ash said as the door opened.

"Guys! What are you doing here!?" I asked cheerfully. 

"Well we are back in town for a few weeks and I figured you wouldn't mind if we stayed here. Unless of course you do... Then we can go somewhere else." Said Calum.

"Of course I don't mind but you would have to ask the parentals." I joked. 

"Ya, cause they sure would mind sharing the 31 floors of the house space you own." Calum said.

"Yay! I call the 30th floor." Called Mikey. 

"I call the 29th," said Luke. 

"Ya well I call the lowest floor possible to be away from you guys," Ashton joked. 

"Ok well it's getting late so why don't you guys go set your stuff in your rooms and meet me back down here for dinner, ya?" I said.

I went to the kitchen floor and started making dinner for everyone. So I was joined by Calum to help cook. 

"So how was your trip down here?" I asked trying to start a convorsation. 

"With these guys? Ha, horrible." He said.

"Oh come on call. It can't be worse than our first tour together." I said.

"That was pretty bad." He laughed. 

As we finished up our dinner the boys went to the game room and Calum stayed behind to help me clean up. 

"You know Cal, no offense but I would have never picked you as the responsible type from the beggining." As I said that I got a cramp.

'Great' I thought. 'I started my period at the most horrible time.' Another pain shot through my body causing me to groan. 

"Are you okay, Michaela?" Calum asked concerned. 

I leaned my head on the counter putting my body at a 90 degree angle. "Never better." I felt something wet run down my leg and was sure I had bled through. 

I went to the bathroom and got cleaned up. I rinsed the stain out of my clothes and threw them in the hamper. I changed into new pants and went back to the kitchen to get my phone. 

I checked my phone and had a text from Cal. "Went up the game room. Come up here, the boys are being mean." He sent with a pouty face.

I laughed at the text and went to the game room. I walked in and sat next to Ash who was totally not involved with whatever game the boys were playing.

Another cramp and my insides felt like they were being twisted. I tensed up and felt Ashton's comforting hand on my back. "Are you okay?" He whispered in my ear. 

I breathed out deeply trying not to focus on the pain and nodded my head with a slight smile on my face. "I'm gonna go to bed guys. See you in the morning. If the parents come home just get Calum to explain what's going on." 

I walked up the stairs and got in bed. The cramps were getting worse. 'Please make it stop.' 

About 30 minutes and 12 cramps later I found myself searching for my phone. I typed in Luke's contact and sent him a text. 

"Hey I got your text. What's up?" He asked concerned. 

"Please come cuddle me." 

Luke came over and climbed under the covers. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me gently. Another cramp cause me to groan loudly and roll over, my back facing Luke. 

"Michaela. Are you okay?" Luke asked as I curled up into a ball.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked my voice cringing.

"Well you are sitting in a fetal position, groaning." He explained.

"Can you get me some Advil and rub my tummy?" I asked. 

Luke got up and went to the medicine cabinet. He grabbed the bottle of Advil and a bottle of water out of the mini fridge. He helped me sit up and I took the medicine and a small sip of water. 

"Thank you, Luke." I kissed the top of his head and snuggled back into his chest.

"You know, I don't care if you are on your period. You can tell me that kind of stuff with out me being immature." He said rubbing my stomach. 

"I love you Luke." 

"I love you too Micky. And don't worry I don't think the other boys have caught on yet." He smiled. 

"I really wouldn't care at this point. They would just be immature about it but they can get over it." 

"It really hurts to think you couldn't trust me after the countless time I have been through this with you." He asked fake crying. 

I laughed at his stupidity, "I felt embarrassed okay? You are making me wish I was a turtle right now." 

"Well you can't hide from me. I'm sorry but I won't let you." He said sternly at first causing us both to laugh. 

Luke's phone was going off repeatedly and he just ignored it. "Is there a special lady back in the states? I think she's trying to get a hold of you." I laughed.

"Nope. It's the boys. Probably wondering where I am." He explained.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked. 

"Cause I don't date. And there is no special girl in my life. All I need is my family and you." He said.

"What about the boys?" I asked.

"Priorities darling." He laughed. "Just kidding I love them." 

Luke picked up his phone and called Calum back and he had it on speaker with all of the guys. "Damn Luke, did you get lost looking for the bathroom? Her house isn't THAT big."

"Really? Cause you got lost looking for the elevator one time Mikey. So before you talk." I joined in.

"Damn!" Calum said. 

"Gee I should have known, you ran off with the girl Hemmings." Michael said. 

"Whatever, we are going to bed. See you in the morning." Luke said and hung up the phone. 

The cramps came back in big waves and hurt like hell. I felt bad for Luke because I kept squeezing his hand.

"I'm gonna take a bath and see if it helps." I said.

"Ok. Do you want me to run your water or something?" He asked. 

"I got it thanks." I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water. I put my hair into a bun so it didn't get wet and got in the bath. It was really hot and felt good on my stomach. I wish I wasn't a girl.

I say in the bath until the heat was unbearable and got out. I changed into some shorts and a t-shirt. I got back in bed and Luke was writing in a book of some sort. "Hey Luke." 

He quickly closed it and put it in the drawer beside him. "Is everything okay?" I asked concerned of his weird behavior.

"Yep. How are you feeling any better?" 

"Not really." I climbed back in his arms. I lifted up my shirt and put his cold hand on my stomach. It felt really good on my skin. 

"If you feel weird you can move." I said before actually going to sleep. "Goodnight Luke."

"Goodnight Michaela." 

*10 a.m.* 

I woke up and saw how late it was and I jumped out of bed. I ran down to the kitchen where all the boys were sitting down eating pancakes that Luke made. 

"I was gonna bring yours to your bed but I guess not anymore." He said.

"You scared me half to death. Don't ever do that again." I told him.

Luke put his hands up in defense, "sorry I made breakfast?" He asked. 

I made him put down the pan he was cleaning and gave him a hug. "It's not that." I whispered, "it's hard to explain." I sighed. 

"Hows your tummy?" He asked in a whisper. 

"Good. Don't you have sound check in an hour?" I asked.

"Shit. Let's go guys. Are you gonna be okay here by yourself?" Luke asked. 

"I'll keep you updated." I said. Luke kissed my head and went out of the door.

About 10 minutes later I got a text from Luke, "why did you get so offended that I made breakfast?" 

"Because I feel like it's my job to take care of you guys while you're here. And I hate sleeping late cause when I woke up and the house was silent, I thought something horrible happened." I answered back.

"Well it won't happen again." Luke said. I couldn't tell if he was mad or not.

"No. It's okay. I was just frightened. Thank you Lukey." I answered back.

"I've got to rehearse. I'll talk to you later, okay love?" He texted. 

While the boys were gone I did all of their laundry, made their beds, finished the dishes and cleaned all of the bedroom floors. About five hours past and the boys were about to go on break.

I pulled out u phone and texted Luke, "I'm sorry to bother you but I need you to do me a big favor when you go on break." "If you don't mind." I added at the last second. 

A few seconds later he responded, "sure what's up?" 

"So my stomach hurts really bad.... and I can't move...and I need... girly things.." I sent waiting for his response.

"So you are telling me you want me to go to the store, with teenage girls AND paps around me 24/7 and buy you tampons?" He asked.

"..." 

"Ok. Sure thing love. :)" 

"Really? You have got to be the best boyfriend ever!" I sent. "I'm mean boy.....friend. Like guy friend... Why do I always embarrass my self around you?" I asked him.

"You're fine. I'll be there within the hour." He sent and went back to practicing. 

An hour later and Luke showed up in my bedroom. I was still laying in a ball hoping the cramps would go away. "You look like you're hurting." 

"No Luke, periods feel great." I sassed back.

"You don't have to be embarrassed about asking me to get this stuff. I have a mom you know." He shot.

"Well I feel weird cause I'm your friend and you're a guy." I said.

"So you are telling me you feel bad because you are sexist?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes and another cramp came over me. Luke just stood there staring with sad eyes. "Don't you have to get back to practice?" I asked trying to get him to leave.

"Ya... Can I cuddle you?" He asked. 

"You don't have to ask." 

Luke climbed under the cover and wrapped his arms around me. He lifted my shirt slightly and put his cold hands on my stomach. I stretched my legs a little and sighed in relief. 

"You don't mind do you?" He asked. I shook my head and leaned into his touch a little more. 

"Are you a doctor? Cause now I feel a lot better." 

"That's a horrible pick up line." He said.

"It wasn't a pick up line. I was telling you the truth. Touch helps with cramps." I defended. 

"Shit the boys are calling me. I have to go. Let me know if you need anything else." 

"Thank you Luke." I said.

"Hey if you feel any better tonight will you come to the show?" He asked hesitantly. "It's just, you're our biggest fan and I want you to come." 

"Even if I feel like crap, I will come. Just tell me when to come and I'll drive over there." I said. 

"No, I'll pick you up at 6." He smiled and went back to practice.

As soon as he left I hopped in the shower then dried my hair. I went through my closet and debated on what I was going to wear. I finally picked out some black shorts, a black nirvana muscle tee, and my low cut all black converse. I quickly changed just in time for Luke to get here. He knocked on the door incase I was changing then came in. 

"Wow Michaela you look," 

"Ugly?" I said cutting him off.

"Stunning." He finished.

"Sure." I answered rolling my eyes.

"Just because you feel like crap doesn't mean you look like crap." I laughed at him and gave him a hug.

"We should get going before my heart overpowers my brain." He said walking out the door before I got a chance to ask what that meant. I took some medicine and followed him out the door.

The car ride there was pretty silent besides the green day playing on the radio. Luke accidentally grabbed my hand one time and apologized before putting his back on the wheel. We pulled up at the arena and he ran to my side and opened my door. We walked into the practice room with the guys and they all looked shocked. 

"Michaela! You're here!" Calum shouted. 

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked laughing as he hugged me.

"Well I figured you were still busy hanging out with that Zack kid. Always more important than us." Michael said with a smile. 

"Well that stung a little." Luke said walking to Ashton. 

"Well anyways, nice choice of colors in your outfit." Mikey said sarcastically. 

"Thought it would be nice to match your soul." I hissed. 

"Ya well why don't you shove-," 

"Okay guys. That's enough." Ashton yelled. 

"Now do you see why I don't like coming?" I directed toward Luke and walked off irritably.

He followed me out of the room and saw I was crying. "He didn't mean it." 

"Of course he did. Why else would he say it? He hates me." 

He wrapped his arms around me in comfort. "Was he telling the truth... About Zack, I mean." 

"Zack committed suicide while you guys were on tour last year. And even then you guys still came before him. Which was why he did it." 

Ash walked in. "Um Luke your mic is still on. Michael heard everything and wants to know if you guys will come back in so he can apologize." 

"Of course it is." Luke unplugged his sound equipment and threw it across the room. 

We walked back in to the sound room and Mikey walked up to me. "I'm sorry Michaela. I didn't know and I feel horrible. I don't hate you. You are the bestest friend I could ever ask for." He game me a comforting hug and walked back to his guitar.

Luke sat on the couch with the rest of the guys and I walked out to find the bathroom. I got cleaned up and noticed how red my eyes were. "Why do they hate me?" I asked myself. I shook it off and walked back to the guys. I sat on Luke's lap and layed my head on his chest. He rubbed circles on my stomach and it made me feel better. 

"Are you good now?" He whispered. 

"Never better." I answered. 

The medicine ended up making me really sleepy and I started to fall asleep on Luke's shoulder. 

"Is she gonna be okay?" Ashton asked. Luke slightly nodded his head and continued to rub in circles. 

"Hey Micky?" Luke asked.

"Mhm?" 

"We have to go perform. Do you wanna stay here or come watch back stage?" He asked. 

"I'll come there in 5 more minutes." I slurred out and rolled over.

"Okay." He laughed and followed the boys out to perform. 

About 15 minutes later I heard a muffled sound next to me. It was Luke's ear piece and mic. I picked it up and walked back stage. I spent about 5 minutes trying to get his attention. I finally got Calum's and he told Luke to look at me. I held up his ear piece and motioned for him to come get it. 

He shook his head and motioned for me to bring it to him. "It appears I left my ear piece and mic back stage and my wonderful assistant is going to bring it to me." I shook my head and started to back away. 

"Oh come out here Michaela. Everyone scream!" Calum yelled.

The crowd went wild and started to chant my name. "You have to come now." Ash said.

I slowly walked out and handed Luke his mic. I turned around and tried to walk away. "Hey not so fast!" Luke said grabbing my wrist. He put his arm around me. "Isn't she such a beauty?" Again the crowd went wild and I started to blush.

"Everyone give it up for Michaela since we forced her out here." The crowd again went wild. 

"Why don't you say something to the fans Micky?" He asked. 

"Sure. What's up guys? Just to let you know, I now hate Luke. Have a good night everyone." I blew them a kiss and walked off stage. 

"Girls, never treat your friends like that. I'm not gonna get offended because I know she doesn't feel good but still." He said and the crowd awed.

When the boys got done with there concert they came back to the dressing room. I was asleep on the couch and Luke sat down next to me. "Do you guys have a meet and greet now?" 

"Don't worry it's only 4 hours." 

"But it's 11 o'clock." I whined. 

"I'm just kidding. We are going home. Can you walk to the car?" He asked.

"Not if you are offering to carry me." 

Luke laughed and picked me up. He carried me to the van and told Ashton to drive his car back so he could let me sleep. He hopped in the van and I layed on his chest and went to sleep. When we arrived back at the house Luke put me in my bed and tried to leave. I grabbed his wrist. "Where are you going?" I pouted. 

"Well since you hate me now I was going to sleep in my bed." He joked.

"But I want you to hold me." I said pouting. 

"I'll come check on you later. I'm gonna go see the boys." He laughed.

A little while later he came back. "How are you feeling?" 

"I still need to be held." I said. 

Luke laughed and climbed in the bed. I wrapped my arms around him. "Lukey you're the best."

*9 the next morning* 

I woke up and went downstairs to see that Calum had made breakfast today. All the boys were sitting at the table. I reached over Luke's shoulder and grabbed a piece of bacon. "What an unhealthy, fat, greasy piece of non-vegan food you have there. Disgusting." I said before putting it back. Luke laughed and stood up to put his dish in the sink. 

"Well good morning to you too." He said.

"Hey Michaela, the fans are blowing up Twitter with pictures of Lichaela." Calum said. 

"What?" I asked. 

"Ya cause he called you pretty. Thanks for stealing my pickup line." Michael said. 

The rest of the guys laughed but Michael didn't think it was funny. 

Luke's phone kept going off with his moms ring alert. "Hey mom is something wrong?" He heard the news and his face fell. "I'll be right there. Yes mom it's fine. I'll catch the next flight." 

Without a word Luke ran up to his room and started to pack. I followed him up and saw he was crying. Luke never cries. "Is everything okay?" 

"Yep everything's fine." He said wiping his eyes.

"Obviously it's not. I've never seen you cry." I said.

"I cried one time when I saw... Never mind." 

"What? When you saw what? That could mean a million things Luke." I asked but he ignored me. "So what happened?"

"My dad got in a bad wreck." 

"I'm sorry." I gave him a hug and he started crying again.

"I love you. I'll be back before the end of the week." He said grabbing his suitcase. 

That night was one of the hardest in a long time. Knowing Luke was by himself at a time like this worried me. I walked downstairs to Calum's room and knocked on the door. I walked in and climbed in his bed. I snuggled into his chest. "Can I help you?" 

"Can you rub my tummy?" I asked him. 

"So you want me to rub your stomach because?" He asked rubbing circles on my stomach. 

"Luke usually rubs my tummy when it hurts but he isn't here." 

"Why does your stomach hurt?" He asked. 

"Cause..." 

"You're on your monthly?" He winked. I nodded my head and snuggled into his chest. 

"You know, I have a homemade tea recipe that stops cramps?" 

"No way. I don't believe you." I said.

He jumped out of bed with a smirk. "I'll be back in 10 minutes."

Within the 10 minutes Calum came back with tea that smelt amazing. I drank it and waited. After 5 minutes all my cramps were gone.

"Ok first, why didn't you tell me about this 2 days ago and second where did you learn this recipe?" 

"How was I supposed to know? You aren't moody like every other girl and you didn't tell me. And second, I have a sister and mother you know." He explained.

"So why do you know it?" I smirked.

"Because my mom said I would make some girl very happy one day if I learned it." 

"Well she was right. Remind me to call her and thank her sometime." I said.

"Oh god. Then she's gonna rub it in my face and please don't." 

"So have you talked to Luke yet?" He asked.

"Ya, Mr.dad isn't doing to good." I answered. 

"I feel bad for him." Calum said. 

"He wants to come back and I told him to stay with his dad but he won't listen." 

"He's so stubborn!" Calum said. "so when is he coming back?" 

"2 days."


	2. Chapter 2

*Michaela's POV* 

The past two days went by rather quickly without Luke. It came time that we had to pick him up in an hour. I had a rank headache and decided to get some medicine out of the drawer. I opened it and with out looking felt around for the medicine. I ended up grabbing what felt like a book. On the cover was the words: Don't Open, Top Secret.

I decided to go against what it said and opened the front page. "Today I met a girl. We are just friends but she will end up changing my world. Her name is Michaela. She's very sweet and not to mention gorgeous." 

I turned the page. It was seven years later, "I found this book again, seven years later, and decide to write again. Today Michaela and I went to the movies with the guys. It turns out I like her. Like like her. I hope I don't show it. I probably make a fool out of myself with everything I do. Anyways I'll write again soon. Goodbye for now." 

I flipped through the pages of the book reading the interesting ones and laughing at the hilarious stories over the last two years. There was one story from about a year ago that caught my eye. "Today I cried. No one knows though. I went to Michaela's house to pick her up. Her mom let me in and said I could go to her room. As I walked by her bathroom door my heart dropped. I saw her in the mirror. She had a blade, cutting deep wounds in her skin. There was blood on the floor. I didn't want her to know I saw her. What if she stopped talking to me? I just don't know what to do."

The next page was later that week, "she still hasn't told me. I can tell she isn't as happy anymore. I hope she trusts me enough one day to tell me."

I read the stories from the next couple of weeks. Each time he mentioned something about me not telling him. I skipped to six months ago when they first went on tour. "We are leaving for tour today. Michaela still hasn't told me but a couple days ago she was at my house and her shorts came up. I saw the cuts, some old, some new. It mentally paralyzed me. Is she ever gonna tell me? She surely can't wear long sleeves forever." 

I skipped three months ahead while they were still on tour. Luke had given up on writing about how I hadn't told him. "I miss Michaela. I hope she's doing okay. I miss her cuddles when I'm sad. And her laughter when she's happy. I fall more and more in love each time I think about her."

Then I went to the week before they came here. "I GET TO SEE MICHAELA IN A WEEK! But she doesn't know it yet. We are going to surprise her. As soon as Ash told me the news I started smiling and haven't stopped. IM OVERLY EXCITED. But to be fair I have the right to be. Sure we talk almost every night but I can't wait to see her in person!" 

The night they arrived he wrote again. "I'm so happy we are back! Michaela was so happy to see us. At least I hope she was. She looked thinner than when we left. I hope she's not depressed still. WHY WONT SHE JUST TALK TO ME? She let me cuddle with her tonight. But only cause she started her monthly. She was embarrassed to tell me and she snuggled into my chest trying to hide. It was adorable. I feel like I'm being too flirty but I don't want her to know I like her. Or the boys for that matter. They would probably just make fun of me. Or hurt Michaela and then I would have to kill them."

He also wrote the morning after there concert that he forced me to go onstage with him. "Yesterday I got out of bed and was gonna surprise her with breakfast in bed. After all she deserved it. But before I could she came downstairs in a panic that something bad had happened cause when she woke I wasn't there. I hate thinking that because it makes me feel like she needs me. I know she doesn't but it's fun to pretend. Last night was our first concert back and she came. It made me happy even though she slept through most of it because she felt ill. I feel bad about what Mikey said to her before. She's already so sad and she doesn't deserve to be treated like that. She came on stage though. That made me really happy too. This morning the boys told us about how people were 'shipping' Lichaela. What ever that means. It makes me feel better to know that people would be okay with us being together."

After I finished reading it I set the book back in the drawer and took some medicine like I was hoping to do before. What if Luke finds out I read his journal? Oh god he's going to hate me. But that's okay. There will be no secrets and I will tell him everything. Hopefully he does the same. I was inturupted from my thoughts when Calum walked in. "Are you ready to go get Luke?" 

"More than ever." I said to him. I got up and followed him to the car. He opened my door and shut it once I was inside.

We drove to the airport and went by the gate to wait for Luke. Once I saw him I ran up and jumped in his arms. "I missed you so much. Please don't ever leave."

"Woah, Michaela, what's gotten into you?" he laughed.

"Can I explain later? I just want to get back and cuddle you." I said.

Calum got Luke's bag from the baggage area and put it in the car. Me and Luke climbed in the back and Calum got in the drivers seat. I sat with my legs over Luke and grabbed his hands to interlock with mine. I looked into his eyes and started to giggle. 

"Is everything okay?" He asked laughing. 

My giggle turned into tears slowly coming down my face. "No, no, no I didn't mean for you to cry." He let go of my hands, cupped my face, and he wiped my tears with his thumb.

I pulled out of his grasp and took my legs off of him. I turned away and put my face in my hands. Luke grabbed me by my waist and pulled me into him. I leaned my head back onto his shoulder and rested my hands on top of his. He moved one of his hands to wipe the tears again. I let out a slow shaky breath and felt Luke's lips on my cheek. "Everything will be okay." 

When we got to the house Calum opened our door. "We will be up in a moment." Luke smiled.

As soon as Calum left I tried to get out and Luke pulled me back into his lap and laughed, "where do you think you are going?" 

"Lukeeeee." I whined.

"What's the matter with you?" He asked.

"Well it's gonna take a while so I thought we would go inside." I said in a bitchy tone.

"Don't be mad at me." He laughed again and kissed my back. 

I rolled my eyes in annoyance but couldn't help smiling. "Never will be. But can you please loosen your grip a little? If you have already forgotten let me remind you that you are a giraffe." 

"So are you. You are like two inches shorter than me." He said.

"But you have more muscles than me." 

"That's not true." He fought back.

"Can you just let me go?" I laughed. He hugged me tighter for just a second and let go.

I jumped out of the car and waited for him. He got out and grabbed my hand. We walked through the door and the boys were sitting in the main living room. They jumped off the couch and gave him a hug. I tried to let go of Luke's hand but he held on tighter. "Dude we missed you." 

"I was gone for two days." Luke stated.

"That doesn't mean we can't miss you." Michael said. 

Luke started walking to the stairs but I stopped him. "Go ahead and go up. I've got something to take care of really quick." I smiled.

"Do you need help? I'd be happy to." Luke offered.

"Nope I'm good." As soon as Luke was out of sight I went to the bathroom. I got on my knees and leaned over the toilet. I started throwing up. Once I was done I got on the scale. The number made my heart break. "93." I whispered. I went over to the sink and brushed my teeth. Once I cleaned up I walked out of the bathroom and Michael was waiting for me. 

"Does your sweet Lukey-Pookey know? I'd hate for him to find out." He said with his arms crossed. 

"What do you want Michael?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"For you to leave Luke alone. I mean for God sakes he wouldn't even hug me with both hands because he was holding yours." Mikey said angrily.

"I tried to let go but he held on tighter. I'm not a bitch you know." 

"Some would say." He laughed.

"And what do you plan on doing?" I asked looking him up and down.

"I'll just go tell Luke what you've been coming down here and doing every night." He said. 

"Actually I was just about to tell him. Want to join me?" I asked sarcastically. 

"Sure." 

"I was kidding." I said. 

"I wasn't." He smiled. 

I rolled my eyes and got in the elevator. Mikey followed me in and we rode to my room on the top floor. We stepped out of the elevator and I saw Luke sitting on the bed. 

"What are you doing up here?" He asked towards Michael. 

"He came up here to make sure I told you I was bulimic and I cut and it's his fault." I smiled.

"What no!" Michael protested. 

A look of anger and saddness came over him. "Michael I would get out before I lose it and punch you." 

Michael rolled his eyes and went back downstairs. 

"Okay that wasn't actually true but he was blackmailing me cause he hates me. I had to make you mad enough to get him out." I explained. 

"How was he blackmailing you?" Luke asked his hands still balled into fists. 

I reached forward and opened his hands flat. "First be calm so you don't accidently punch me. And second he walked by while I was throwing up and said he was gonna tell you if I didn't because he's mad at me. And he's mad because you didn't let go of my hand and give him a real hug. Totally my fault but whatever. Anyways that's one of the thousand things I was gonna tell you when I got back up here so I did it now. But can you pretend I didn't already say it so I can start from the beginning?" 

He nodded his head. "Let's sit down." He said. He climbed on the bed and got under to duvet. I climbed under with him and we sat in the position we were at in the car.

"Okay so while you were gone I had a headache and went to get some medicine out of my drawer and found your book. Now you are gonna be mad but I read it." I paused and waited for his reaction.

He hid his face in my back, "Embarrassed but not mad."

"You have no reason to be embarrassed. Only me for hiding so long. Anyways, it was never you. I've always trusted you. You are actually the only person I trust." I laughed and looked down. Luke kissed my back and waited for me to continue, "I'm ready to tell you about everything if you are willing to listen." 

"Of course I am. I just don't want you to feel like you have to." He said.

"It all started when I was 15. I got bullied a lot because I was friends with more boys than girls. Everyone called me a slut or a tramp and stuff like that. But it's not my fault you four were my only friends. I got really depressed and that's why I was kind of a closed personality. I always tried to be happy around you guys and I guess it worked because no one ever asked. That still goes on to this day. And then, about a year ago my dad raped me. It was the day before you found me. That's why I was cutting, but I hadn't ever cut before that. Around that time was when Michael first started being mad at me because 'I started acting different'. I just ignored him but it gets harder as the days go on. Just a second ago when he was talking about the hug, I said I wasn't a bitch. His response was 'some would say' and it just made me more upset. When you guys went on tour my dad raped me again and said that since you guys were gone I had no one to protect me. He called me fat and it made me self conscious. Now I won't eat and it's kind of messed me up. It just boggles my brain that you said you were in love with me. I thought no one would ever love me. Sure the boys do but no one could be in love with me." 

"I could and I am." He kissed my nose and hugged me tighter. "I'm so sorry all that happened to you. I will never leave you ever."

"Thank you Lukey." I smiled.

"So what about us? What are we?" He asked nervously.

"I don't want a label." I stated.

"But I can do this right?" He leaned in and kissed me. We both smiled halfway through the kiss.

"You can do whatever you want babe." I smiled.

"I'm gonna go talk to the boys really quick." He said stretching. He rolled over until he thought he was at the end of the bed and ended up falling off. I couldn't help but laugh. 

"Lukey are you okay?" I continued laughing. 

He stood up and held his side. "Yep I'm great." He walked out the door and went to find the boys.

*Luke's POV*

I walked to the elevator and went to the game room where I would most likely find the guys. Once I arrived, I walked in and saw the boys yelling at the game of Fifa on the tv. Once they saw me they turned off the tv and faced me. "Luke we need to talk."

"Ya we do." I said rolling my eyes. 

"It has come to our attention that you have been spending more time with Michaela than us." Ashton said. 

"To make her feel better once you guys make her feel like crap. Ya keep going?" I said. 

"Ya okay." He started laughing. I waited for him to continue, "wait you were joking right? How did we make her feel like crap? We've been nothing but nice to her." 

"Most have, some have not. I'm not picking anyone out, that's for you to decided. All I know is that they make her so depressed she doesn't want us here anymore. Or to be friends with us at all. Because we have called her a bitch and been mean to her because 'she changed' when she was being bullied. You guys don't know how much shit she has taken for us. People have called her a slut and a whore just cause we were her only friends. She was always really depressed and we were never there for her." I started to explain.

"Why didn't we ever see it?" He asked.

"Because she never wanted to make us sad. She always tried to be happy, just for us. And most of the time it worked. And when it didn't she just said she was tired and we were all stupid enough to believe it. She got bullied to the point where she thought no one could ever love someone as rough as her. But did we ever notice? There are a bijillon other things you guys don't know about that fucked her up and made her this way. So if you could just care a little bit more that would be great." I said finishing my rant. "Is there anything else you want to say to me?" 

"We're sorry." They said in unison. 

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." 

*Michaela's POV*

Luke came back to my room and looked really angry. "Hey what's wrong?" 

Luke ignored me and got in the bed. He wrapped his arms around me, put his face in my back, and screamed. It tickled so I laughed. "It's not funny." He screamed again. 

"I'm sorry." I continued laughing, "it tickles."

"Luke?"

"Yes love?" He said.

"Can you turn the fan on? It's really hot." I asked.

"Then take off your sweater." He said.

"But," before I could finish Luke lifted up his arms and pulled off my sweater. He grabbed my wrist and looked at my scars.

I pulled my arm away. "I know they are ugly." I got up and stormed out of my room. As I was walking down the hallway I saw all of the other guys. Their attention went straight to my arms. I started crying and walked faster. "Michaela wait." They called.

*Luke's POV* 

After Michaela stormed out, all of the guys stormed in. "You didn't say she was self harming!" Ashton yelled.

"She didn't want you to know. Hell she didn't want me to know." I answered.

"What are we gonna do? We leave in three days." Calum said. 

"I really don't want you guys in my presence right now. So I'm gonna go find Michaela." I said. 

I walked to the pastures outside and saw Michaela laying with Daisy, her favorite horse.

*Michaela's POV*

Great Luke's here. As soon as Daisy saw Luke she perked up. "Don't get to excited. He's an asshole." 

"Thanks I love you too?" He said smiling. "Please don't be mad. I was trying to make you comfortable." 

"Well you did the oppsite. You made me realize, you are a dick." I said.

Luke wrapped his arms around me, standing at my side. "Why are you so mad?" 

"Because I wasn't ready Luke. I want ready to show you how screwed up I am." 

"You aren't screwed up. Don't say that." He said. 

"Ya right. Cause every girl you know goes around slicing their wrists open because it's normal." I laughed trying to hold back the tears. 

"That's besides the point. I love you just the way you are." He said.

"Will you rub my tummy?" I pouted. 

"Yes." Luke laughed and kissed my head, hugging me tightly.

*the next morning* 

I woke up to the boys playing Fifa on the big screen in my room. They were screaming and yelling and playing louder than I wanted this early in the morning. Luke was the only one not involved in the chaos. He was just propped up on his side with his arms around me with the controller. I groaned at the boys and snuggled deeper into his chest. I gave him a little squeeze and he put his arms tighter around me never letting go of the controller. "Guys, quiet down. She's trying to sleep." And went back to his game. Luke leaned back against the couch pulling away from me. I whined and pulled him back closer to me. "Babe I'm trying to play." I took the controller out of his hands and set it on the couch next to us. He grabbed it back, "stop I'm about to beat Calum." I rolled my eyes and got up. 

I went downstairs to get some water. I looked at the oven and it read '4:43'. 'I hate you guys,' I thought to myself. After I got my water I went back to my room and sat next to Luke who was still laying down on the couch. "Why don't you lay down with me?"

"Don't talk to me." I said sarcastically. Luke started looking me up and down with a smirk on his face. "What?"

He held his hands up in defense and picked up the controller again. I reached over and grabbed my phone and headphones. I put on my iTunes Radio and the only songs that came on were sad ones. I didn't really mind because that's my favorite kind of music. I started thinking about everything Luke wrote, mixed with the sad music and started crying. I just clenched my eyes and let the tears fall. A couple minutes later I heard Luke saying my name but I just ignored him. After a while he started shaking my arm. When I ignored him he started messing with my face and the rest of my body. 

"Can you stop!?" I accidentally screamed. All of the boys started to stare. Luke grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. "I'm so tired of this Luke."

"I know baby." He said.

"No you don't! You think you understand but you can't. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to have to live with this pain anymore, just get me out." I started clawing at my wrist leaving marks and tearing open old cuts. 

"Babe stop." He tried to grab my wrist but I just got up and started pacing around the room. After walking for a couple minutes Luke got up and came over to me. He grabbed my shoulders to still me and looked into my eyes. "You need to get better. Please stop hurting yourself. It's only going to make it worse inside." 

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." I sniffled.

"It was my fault, don't apologize." He said. "Can we get you cleaned up and then cuddle?" 

"Only if you aren't mad at me." 

"Never."

Luke bandaged my cuts and kissed my wrist. "I love you." 

I started to daze off so Luke carried me back to the couch and layed me in front of him. He wrapped his arms around me and cuddled me close to his chest. I was just about to officially be asleep when I heard Calum's voice. "What made her freak out?" 

"I think she was just scared." Luke said.

"Scared of what?" 

"Of not being loved. You've got to think, her whole life she never had anyone to love her. Her parents did horrible things to her and thought that since they had so much money they could buy her love. But you can't buy love it has to be earned, like this. She may not love me back yet, but maybe she doesn't know how. But damn I sure love her a lot." And he was right. I think I love him but I don't know how. I do know that he loves me and I appreciate everything he does to care for me. I'm glad he doesn't think I'm a lost cause like everyone else.

"Well I think you guys are officially adorable." Ashton said. 

"W-what do you guys think about bringing her on tour?" He asked in a shaky voice. 

Immediately everyone turned to Michael. "Why is everyone looking at me?" 

"Cause we all know you two don't get along well." Ashton answered.

"I don't care if she comes. I just want her to be happy." Michael said looking down.

"Did that really come out of his mouth?" Calum asked shocked. 

"What? I have a heart." Michael protested.

"You do?" Cal asked. 

"I can't believe you guys." Michael said. 

"We only play cause we love you." Ashton said. 

"So that's it then? She's coming?" Luke asked excitedly. 

"Yep." Luke hugged me really and I groaned. 

"Sorry." He said letting go. I cuddled into his chest and fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

*Michaela's POV*

When I woke up Luke was cuddling into me still asleep. I gave him a quick kiss and he smiled. "Thank you for last night." 

He opened his eyes a little, obviously still tired, and kissed my nose. "No problem, baby." 

He closed his eyes again and I looked over at the boys. Ashton and Calum were sprawled out on my bed and Mikey was slumped over on the other couch, controller still in hand. 

I slipped out of Luke's grasp and went down to the kitchen. I made everyone's favorite breakfast and set it on the table. 

I still had to go feed all of the animals so I headed to the stables. I saw Mr. David bring in the last of the horses. "Thank you Mr. David. I don't know how you have great energy in the morning." 

"For the last time Miss McGauly, it's David." He looked down at my arms and I realized that Luke had taken my sweater off and I never put it back on. I subconsciously folded my arms, "Isn't your little boyfriend helping with that?"

"Yes he is. I apologize for you having to see them again. Doesn't matter if you tell father. He encourages it." I shrugged and walked past him to Daisy's stall.

"I don't want to tell your father. I want you to stop. I've watched you grow and ride horses for 14 years. They are supposed to make you happy. Nothing else matters. Do me a favor and walk Daisy to the arena." 

He offered me a halter but I passed and opened the stall door. Daisy followed me out and to the arena without me asking. We started playing around and doing her tricks. I asked her to lay down and she did as I asked. I got on her back and she stood up. We cantered around the arena, she stopped, reared and spun in a circle, still on two legs. She landed and I gave her a big hug and started laughing. I heard all on the guys cheering from inside the barn and Mr. David from the side of the ring. 

"Now that's the smile I saw 14 years ago and started missing 2 years ago. Wear it more often, it's beautiful." He said and went to feed the horses.

Luke walked out to the ring and Daisy stopped prancing. She looked at Luke, then to me, and shunned him. "It's okay girl. We made up." I laughed petting her. "Wanna jump?" 

She got really excited and started prancing around the ring again. "Boys set the jumps to the highest hole." I said. As they did I warmed Daisy up a bit and got ready. 

"Don't you need a saddle or at least a halter or something?" Calum asked. 

"Saddles are for losers." I smirked. Daisy stopped her foot and neighed, her head facing Calum.

"What if that's too high?" Ashton asked concerned. 

"Will you guys quit being weenies? I'm the horse expert. I know what I'm doing." I said and started cantering. 

I stared at the distance of the jumps and counted. "5, 8, 3, 1, 7, 2. Got it babe?" 

"Got it!" Luke screamed even though he had no clue what I was talking about.

"I was talking to Daisy." I shouted over the first jump. 

"Oops." Luke said. 

I finished my course and rode over to Luke. I got off still laughing and he spun me around. "You looked like you were having run out there." 

"Well Daisy may be a girl, but she can treat a lady right." I said.

Luke held me around my waist, "so in order to make you happy, I have to let you ride me?" 

I slapped his chest and all the guys started laughing. Luke laughed a little too, "I don't understand what's- oh ohh. You guys are gross. That's not what I meant." Luke started to pout and kissed my neck. "That's NOT what I meant." He whispered. 

"It's okay." I walked back to Daisy's stall and shut it once she was inside. 

"Who's ready for breakfast?" I asked and all the boys cheered. 

We walked back to the kitchen and the boys all sat down at their plates. Luke sat down and pulled me into his lap. "Where's your breakfast?"

"I already ate it." I cringed because I hate lying to him and that lie wasn't believeable anyway.

Luke pushed his plate away and sat holding my waist. "Aren't you going to eat?" I asked.

"Looks yummy." He said and smiled at me.

"Then eat it?" I said.

"Hearing lies makes me loose my appetite." He said. 

"Luke you already saw my cuts before I wanted you too. You are not forcing me to eat." I said.

"Oh I wasn't going to. I just wanted the truth." He smiled and tapped my lap, asking me to stand.

He walked into the kitchen and made my favorite breakfast. He brought it back to the table and set it in front of me. He looked at the plate and motioned for me to eat some. "Luke please. The guys are staring." I begged.

I picked up a piece of toast and dropped in on the floor where Boomer, my black lab, was laying. "Yummy." 

Luke got up again and walked out of the room. I sat there the whole time picking at my food. The boys finished eating and came back to sit at the table. "Will you eat if we leave?" 

"It's not the fact that you guys are here. You could call me thin and skinny or perfect but all the same I'm not eating. I feel fat and my body won't let me eat." I said.

"Why do you feel fat?" Ashton asked. 

"I'm guessing Luke didn't tell you. That makes me feel a little better. My dad used to call me fat for no reason and you guys weren't here to comfort me so it never stopped."

"Micky that's horrible." Calum asked.

"Don't take pity on me. Know my problems use them for strength." I said. 

They got up and started walking out, all with sad looks on their faces. "Hey wipe those looks off of your faces. Be happy and send Luke in here will you?" I said and they all laughed, not that any of them meant it.

A few minutes later Luke walked in. "Did you eat?" 

"Sit down please." I asked and he did. I sat in his lap and put an arm around his neck. I put a finger under his chin, tilted it up, and kissed him. "I don't think you understand how hard this is for me. And I'm sorry about that. I can't find an easier way to say it other than I hate my body and I can't help it. I'll work on this whole eating thing but please just stop being mad. I don't like it and I'd much rather be kissing you or something." 

He took a minute to look me up and down then kiss me again. "Fine. But please just try. You are so skinny and being the giraffe I am, I feel like I'm going to brake you when we cuddle." 

I rolled my eyes and he kissed me again. He finally ate his breakfast and I ate a few bite of mine. It made me cringe just thinking about it but Luke kissed my neck and kept whispering how proud he was of me. 

When we were done, we rinsed our plates and went to the game room. The boys were playing Fifa as usual. I grabbed two more controllers and added me and Luke in the game. "You two are joining? At least it won't be any more of a challenge." Michael laughed.

"What till I kick your arse. Then you will see who's laughing." I said back. 

*end of the game* 

I ended up beating them and they were all surprised. I didn't want to gloat because beating them was enough pain for them. Luke just laughed because he hated it anyway but the other boys were mad.

We all went downstairs to the media room and started watching Anchorman. About an hour into the movie, the keypad on the wall started lighting up saying a new light was on in the house. Maybe Elliott is back from his friends house. 

A few minutes later my father burst into the media room and looked furious. Luke paused the tv and dad started ranting. "I go away for one week on business and you suddenly have a bunch of guys over?" 

"Business meaning? I didn't know cheating on your wife and partying in Boracay was a job." I spit back.

"Just because you're a whore doesn't mean I cheat on my wife." He snapped. 

"You're the one who rapped his daughter because his wife doesn't love him and you were drunk." I screamed.

"Get over it, that was once." 

"Try thirteen times. You could care less about me so why don't you back your bags and go on another 'business trip'?" I asked.

"You are an ungrateful piece of shit. I work hard to give you the life you have. And maybe that's exactly what I'll do. Getting more time away from you sounds great." He screamed walking out the door. 

I got out of Luke's arms and went to take a shower. He followed me up to my room and tried to talk to me. I went in the bathroom and closed the door. After I got in the shower Luke walked in. "Luke!" I screamed and pulled the curtain closed. 

"Sorry! I thought you had it closed already. Are you okay?" He asked. 

"Get out!" I screamed. I felt violated. Ever since I was raped I have been self conscious of my body. I felt worthless and dirty. 

I quickly took a shower and got dressed. I walked out and Luke wasn't in my room anymore. I walked back to the media room and he was in there with the other boys. They weren't watching a movie though. They were talking about what the hell happened with my dad. 

"Basically my dads an ass and I'm so thankful for you guys." I said. 

I sat in Luke's lap and he hugged my waist. "I'm sorry I walked in on you. I just wanted you to be okay." He pouted. 

"It's fine." I asked. The boys all cuddled me. 

"I'm sorry but I have to bring this up. Your dad raped you?" Calum said.

"Oi, Calum." "Really Calum?" "Did you have to say that?" They all yelled at him.

"He's fine. Yes he did multiple times but he doesn't admit to it. He said its my mental illness that makes me needy and I would be lucky for him to rape me." I told them. "Can we just watch the movie?"

After the movie was over it was time to ride the rest of the horses. I changed my clothes and hoped on one of them I rode for an hour. I did the same for 7 more. As I was riding the last one David came by. "Hello Miss McGauly. Enjoying your rides?" 

"Yes sir I am." 

"Wonderful. Mr.Hemmings stopped by and said it was time for you to come eat." He smiled as I thanked him and went to go feed again. 

I washed off Brody and put him in his stall. I walked back to the house and Luke had made dinner. We sat and the boys ate. I did a little as well and Luke wouldn't stop smiling. That boy is lovestruck and I don't know how. 

"Shit!" Ashton screamed.

"What?" We all looked around confused. 

"Radio station meet and greet in one hour. I totally forgot." He said checking his phone. 

They hurried to finish their dinners and put them in the sink. The boys went to their rooms to get ready. Luke just came to mine 'because I want to spend time with you babe' was his excuse.

He changed his pants and took off his shirt completely. He started brushing his teeth and I came up behind him, wrapping my arms around his extremely tone front. "I love your back muscles."

"Why thank you. I love your cute face." He said back.

I kissed his shoulder and smiled, "why are you so broad? You are like Clifford the big red dog." 

Luke ended up laughing really hard and doing that cute little squeak but also spitting toothpaste all over the counter. "That's what we used to call Michael's d-. Michael, that's what we used to call Michael." He said clearing his throat. He rinsed out his mouth and turned around. "I'll um, clean that later." 

I laughed at his awkwardness and gave him a very long kiss. He grabbed at my waist pulling me in closer and holding my arse. He squeezed it and I put weight on my feet. I accidentally rocked my hips with his causing him to let out a small moan into my mouth.

The guys walked in and laughed, "eager are we?" 

"Shut up." He laughed. I turned around and leaned against Luke. He wrapped his hands around my waist and peppered kisses on my neck.

I slid a beenie on his head, "thanks. I didn't feel like doing my hair." 

He slid on a nirvana shirt and grabbed his phone. I grabbed mine and then Luke's hand. "You guys ready?" 

We got in the car and rode to the station that the meet and greet was taking place. When we got there everything was already set up.

I wasn't allowed to sit with the boys during the interview so while we were waiting I sat in Luke's lap. "Are you sure you don't want a chair babe?" 

"Lukey it's fine. They would just have to move it in a few minutes anyway. I don't want to be a bother." I smiled and he leaned in. He kissed me a few more times between conversations but had to stop when the fans started coming in. 

I attempted to get off his lap but some strong 'giraffe' arms held me too tightly to move. "Lukey let go." I laughed.

"No! I don't want to." He pouted like a five year old until security came through his earpiece and made him let me go. He turned to Adam and stuck out his tongue out.

I started walking toward the back of the room when someone grabbed my wrist. "Lukey I have to go." I turned around and it was a fan. I laughed, "I'm sorry. I thought you were Luke." 

"Lukey? That's adorable! Are you his girlfriend?" She asked. Her name tag read Brooke.

I looked up to Luke and he had puppy dog eyes and I laughed again, "something like that."

"Aww I ship you guys. Will you sit with me during the show?" She asked politely. 

"I would love too!" I said excitedly but then stopped myself. "Security would throw a fit though. I'm sorry."

"Ohh. I understand." She looked devastated.

"Wait right here." I ran over to Adam. "Oh Adam?" 

"Yes Micky?" I've known Adam since the boys have and he loves me.

"Since I can't sit with my boyfriend, can I pretty please sit with that fan?" I fluttered my eyelashes and gave him puppy eyes.

"You know I can't allow that. But go ahead." He said.

"Wait really?" I hugged him and planted a kiss to his cheek. 

I ran to Luke, "have I ever told you Adam's the best?"

"No actually. You used to hate him." Luke laughed and kissed me. "Go socialize." 

I rolled my eyes and walked to Brooke. "He said yes!" 

"Awesome! Come sit." I sat next to her and she asked for my name.

"It's Michaela." I said. 

"That's a really pretty nam-," she got cut off by Michael.

"Micky come here!" Michael yelled even though I was 10 feet away from him.

"Micky?" Brooke asked curiously.

"That's what the boys call me. Wanna come see what he wants?" I asked.

"Can I really?!" She asked excitedly.

"Go for it." I laughed and we squeezed through the rope in between the boys and the crowd.

I walked to Luke who was next to Michael and sat in his lap. "Yes Mikey?" 

"I don't need anything. I just thought it would be fun to interrupt you." He said.

I leaned over and punched him. "Asshole." 

"Ouch. That stung a little. Where is the regular name of dickhead?" He asked.

"You're hurting my feelings Mikey. I don't want to be your friend anymore." I smiled. 

"Fine then. Hello pretty lady." He wrapped an arm around Brooke and she started blushing.

"Hi." 

Luke got startled by his earpiece and laughed really loud in my ear. "Ouch. Sorry baby. Adam said to go sit down cause the rest of the fans are coming in." 

"Okay." I gave him a kiss and started to walk away.

"Wait one more." I gave him another. "One more." And another. "Just one more." 

"Luke you get me all to yourself at home. Can I go sit?" I laughed. 

"But I didn't get my last one." He pouted. I rolled my eyes and kissed him one more time extra long. "Okay I'm good for an hour. Unless we get done before then. Then I'll kiss you again."

"My turn!" Mikey yelled and puckered his lips.

"Eww no Mikey. I don't want to kiss you." I said. 

"I was talking to Luke." He scoffed and Luke leaned over to place a kiss to his cheek. "Thanks babe."

"Anytime." Luke smiled.

I grabbed Brooke's hand laughing and walked to Cal and Ash. "Hey guys. How do you deal with them on tour?" 

Calum wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me in. "I'm not really sure." 

"Okay well we are gonna go sit down now because Adam already told us to and he's giving me the look." I said. I kissed them both on the cheek and walked back under the rope, Brooke close behind.

"Wow. So do you ever think about how your friends are famous?" She asked after we sat down.

"Not really. I'm really proud and all but I knew them before fame and with me they act like idiots, as you just saw so they are just regular people. To me the fame just means having to go months without seeing my friends." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"That's awsome, well not the tour part but. So I was trying to ask you before Mikey interrupted us," she stopped and laughed.

"Ya sorry about him. He makes a game out of annoying me." I said.

"It's fine. So how did you and Luke start dating?" She asked.

"Well they came back from tour and we just got closer and then his dad got in a wreck and he had to go see him. When he came back I told him how I felt and he kissed me. That's just kinda it." I laughed.

"Literally goals." She said. "You guys are my otp and the way he kisses you is just so cute."

"Thank you. I've never met anyone who actually liked us together. Most people are jealous and since they don't know my history with the boys, they think I'm only dating Luke 'cause he's the cutest." I explained.

She laughed, "well you don't need to worry about me. I'm a Mikey girl." 

I laughed with her and she pointed behind me. Luke had run up to the rope and excited all the girls. "I need you to come with me." 

"Babe it's only an hour long. How many kisses do you need?" I asked.

"All of them but that's not why I need you." He said.

"Uggh. Can Brooke come?" I asked. 

"You probably wouldn't want her to." What in the hell were we doing?

"Brooke I'm so sorry. I'll be right back." I told her and she nodded. 

I followed Luke out the back door and into the dressing room. There was nobody in there. "Okay so wh," 

I was pushed against the wall and Luke pressed his lips gently to mine. We made out for a good minute before he pulled away. "Sorry I lost my train of thought. You are really kissable. Anyways what the hell is that?" 

I looked down where he was pointing and blood was running down my leg. "Shit my cuts opened." 

"Why?" His eyes were glossy and he looked as if he was gonna cry.

"My dad. I couldn't handle seeing him. And then when you walked in on me. That's how he raped me the first time was in the shower. It just reminded me so much and I couldn't handle it." I said grabbing a tissue and wiping up the blood.

"I love you so godamn much. Why did I have to go on tour? I could have saved you. You're my baby girl, you know that? I love you so much." He kissed me one time really gently and rested his forehead on mine. 

I wrapped my arms around him and he started crying. It's like all the stress on his shoulders was finally coming off. "I'm sorry baby. I tried my hardest. Please don't hate me." 

"I'm not mad baby. I completely understand." He put his head in the crease of my neck and kissed it gently. "I love you so damn much."

I pulled his head up and kissed him one more time. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I have such a great girlfriend. Life is wonderful." He faked a smile and started cleaning my cuts. 

After he wrapped them in gauze, he kissed me and grabbed my hand. We walked back out just in time for it to start and I went to sit by Brooke.

On the way there I passed a group of girls who were snickering about me and Luke and they tried to trip me. I saw her about to stick her foot out and did an aerial over it. They all looked shocked, "I knew converse were always my favorite to dance in." I smiled politely at them and sat down next to Brooke.

"Is everything okay?" She asked concerned. 

"Yes. Just dealing with a bit of personal issues." I looked over to Luke and felt sad. His eyes were red and puffy and he could barely keep a smile. 

My phone buzzed and I got a text from Liz. 

Mommy Liz: how is Luke doing? Holding up well?

I wasn't sure why she texted me at this time but I figured Luke hadn't told me everything. The boys started introducing themselves so I waited till after the first song to text her back.

To Mommy Liz: he broke down in tears a few minutes ago but he told me it was cause he was worried about me. Is everything okay over there?

Within the minute she texted back.

Mommy Liz: we don't know yet. The wreck sparked something in Dads system. He went back for an MRI and he might have cancer.

To Mommy Liz: that's horrible! I didn't know it was that bad. I figured Luke was hiding something cause he never cries. The last time he cried was when the wreck happened.

Mommy Liz: poor boy. Please take care of him for me.

To Mommy Liz: always.

I looked back at the stage and the boys were half way through Amnesia. Luke was kinda out of it so whenever he would forget to sing Michael or Ash would take his part.

I texted Adam and told him I was going to run on stage if Luke breaks and he told me no. 

Luke spoke up for the last part, "I'm not fine at all. Tell me this is just a dream. Cause I'm really not fine at all."

His voice cracked on the last measure and he lost it. I looked to Adam and back to Luke. "Adam?" 

He looked at Luke with sad eyes and nodded. I ran on stage and moved Luke's guitar. He put his head in his hands on his lap. All the guys looked over concerned. I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back. "Baby it's gonna be okay. Dad will be fine. He's a trooper. You know that." 

He lifted his head up a little, "you know?" 

"Yes baby, mommy texted me. You should have told me in the dressing room." He wrapped his arms around me and cried into my shoulder. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to face it." He cried. 

"It's okay. You don't always have to be strong. I want you to know. Because if you build up all the bad stuff inside of you, eventually you will break down." I told him. 

"I know. I just never feel like my problems are big enough to worry about," he answered back.

"Everything you say is worth caring about. If you ever feel stressed again, tell me and I'll help you." I said.

He nodded into my neck and I asked if he was okay to finish the show. "I'll be fine. The worst that could happen is, I'll break down again." 

"Okay baby. Stay strong."

"Thank you baby." He said. I rubbed his back once more and gave him a short kiss before leaving. The crowd awed and I gave Adam a thumbs up to Luke wanting to finish the show. 

He sat with his head in his hands for another minute and turned back to the microphone. He re-adjusted it and grabbed his guitar. "I'm so sorry everyone. I just received some news and I guess I couldn't take it." He laughed it off and the crowd cheered really loud. He looked at me and mouthed, 'I love you baby.'

They started playing Gotta Get Out. Luke sang the lyrics, "and if the earth ends up tumbling down to its knees then baby, we just gotta get out." And he looked like he was gonna break again. 

He realized this and said, "Mikey you sing." Mikey obeyed and Luke sat staring at the ground. He kept playing the chords even when the song was over and Mikey reached over to stop him. "Wait what?" 

"The song is over Luke." Mikey said gently, afraid to tear any strings.

"Oh right. Sorry guys. Brain fart here." He laughed and it was the most beautiful thing in the world. I started thinking about Dad and my mind led to horrible things.

I think I started crying but I wasn't sure. "You okay?" I heard Luke say under his breath as Mikey was singing. I nodded my head and faked a smile.

Brooke wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into a hug. "Is everything okay?" 

"Ya it's about his dad and the wreck he had a few days ago." I smiled and started getting flashbacks of all the memories we have with Dad.

She rubbed circles in my arm as the boys finish up the song they were singing. They answered some fan questions and one of them was how much do you love your girlfriend to Luke.

"It depends on the day. Sometimes I love her this much," he held is hand in a tiny circle. "And sometimes it's this much," he held his hands about 3 inches apart. "There's no in between. But in all seriousness it's this much." He held his arms out and connected them with Mikey's and Calum's and Calum connected his with Ashton's. 

"Wow that's a lot." Michael spoke up. 

"Okay this is our last song for the day." Ashton said.

"Yay, then I get to go to the waterworks show in my bed." The crowd awed again and they started playing teenage dream.

Once they finished the song, I got Brooke's number and walked over to the boys. " Lukey pookey." I poked his cheeks and gave him a kiss.

All the boys walked over and we gave Luke a group hug. "So I'm still confused as to what happened?" 

Luke was going to break down again so I just handed Ashton my phone and they all read it. "Lukey I'm so sorry."

"I'm okay now, I think." I gave him another kiss. This time long and passionate to show I cared about him. When I pulled away he immediately pulled me back in and we kissed again. "Sorry I needed a distraction."

"No problem. Feel free to kiss me whenever you want." I said. 

"Okay." He pulled me back in again and kissed me until he let out a really big sigh. "Can we go home before I cry again?" 

"Sounds good." Ashton said. Their security led us out to the car and me, Luke, and Calum hopped in the back with Mikey and Ash sat in the middle row.

I curled into Luke's side and held his waist. "I've learned what love is now. Lukey, I love you." 

"Really?" Before I could say anything Luke had his lips pressed to mine. It was probably the longest kiss we've had. "I love you so, so much."

Luke started crying again but they were happy tears. Although I knew where this was leading he didn't. His happy tears turned into sad tears really fast. "What if he doesn't make it?" 

"Baby don't think like that. He'll be alright. This is the greatest dad on the planet that we are talking about." Then I got an idea.

I pulled out my phone and called him. He picked on the 3rd ring. "Hello Michaela. How is my future daughter in law?" 

I put it on speaker for Luke to hear. "Hey dad how are you?" I asked. 

"I'm doing pretty good. How's Luke? I heard he didn't take to the news real well." 

"Hi dad. I love you and I hope you get to feeling better." Luke answered.

"Well hey there son. I don't think mom meant to scare you with the news. You know I'm gonna pull through no matter what I have to do." He said.

"I know dad. You know I panic over everything." Luke told him.

"I know boy. Well I heard that your amazing girlfriend already booked you a flight for tomorrow morning so get a good nights rest and come see me." Dad explained.

"You did?" Luke said in the smallest voice possible.

I nodded my head and he started kissing me. "Michael are they kissing again?"

"Yes sir they are." Mikey laughed.

"Don't tell them I said this but can he ever keep his lips off of her? Geez Louise." He chuckled.

"Thanks dad. I'll see you tomorrow." Dad said his goodbyes and hung up the phone.

"You truely are the best girlfriend in the world." Luke said as we pulled in the driveway.

"I know. But that's okay because you are the best boyfriend in the world." I smiled and got out of the car holding Luke's hand.

We walked up to my room and took off our shoes. Luke went to the bathroom so I decided to change really fast. I took off my shorts and threw them in the dirty hamper. I walked over to the drawer with my sleeping shorts but I couldn't find the ones I wanted. 

Luke opened the door and I started to panic. I tried to throw on a random pair of shorts but it was too late. Luke's attention was already focused on my legs.

I didn't want to say anything to him. Why am I always causing him so much pain?

I sunk to the floor and didn't say a word. Luke walked over and scooped me in his arms. He set me in the bed and got under the blanket with me. I put my leg around his waist and we stared into each other's eyes. Luke ran his hands up my legs and started tracing over my cuts with his firm hands. 

After he had traced them all, he moved his hands to the back of my thigh and rested it there. He kissed me over and over telling me how much he loves me. He rested his lips on my neck and I fell asleep in his arms. 

*in the morning*

I woke up and Luke wasn't in bed. I went downstairs and found him cuddled up with the boys on the couch. I walked over and laid across all over them, my face towards Luke. "Good morning baby girl." 

He leaned in and kissed me for a long time. The boys rolled there eyes but didn't say anything cause they like seeing Luke happy. "Bags are packed and our plane leaves in 30. We should probably leave soon." 

"But I just want to cuddle." Luke whined.

"We can cuddle on the plane. Everyone needs to be ready in 15 minutes." I said dragging Luke up to come upstairs.

"Wait we are all going?" Calum and Michael ask in unison. 

"Oh brother." I walk away from the boys pulling Luke with me. 

"Why are they all coming?" Luke asked once we were far enough away.

"I thought you wouldn't want to feel alone so I invited them all. Do you want me to tell them to stay?" I asked annoyed even though I didn't show it.

"No cause then they will think I don't want them there." He said.

"I thought you didn't?" I asked. That's literally what he just said. I'm about to freak out.

"Don't worry about it babe. If I've got you that's all that matters." He said. He presses a kiss to my neck and then to my lips before we walk up the stairs to grab our stuff.


End file.
